To Be Honest, Happiness and Other Thoughts

      I wonder if I am the only one who has felt as though, "Is there more to life then this?" and "How can one find happiness?" Although my life has barely been lived; I will be two decades in two weeks but for the past couple of years these questions have been running through my mind.
     
        Ever since I crossed that stage in 2012 ending my twelve years of school, the reality of life has hit me and continues to hit me harder than ever. As each day and year passes I realize that time is slipping me by and the many dreams and hopes I have had are being hit with reality.

          After graduating I thought now is the time to start new; a new state, new friends, and a new perspective. My expectations were high, high is an understatement, they were probably a little unrealistic. I will say that their have been some good experiences and I have met some great people through the process but I am constantly wondering that their has to be more. One can only live in a Christian bubble for so long; you come to this realization after attending a Christian school for only two years but do not be fooled actions speak louder than words.I have learned that sometimes I set my expectations to high only to be disappointed.
    
       One question that I seem to be getting asked more often is, "What are your plans after you graduate?" Then I hear some mumblings about how awful the job market will be, everything that I need to do in the present in order to secure a job and other ramblings of the same sort. Can I be completely honest? These questions frighten me the more I think about them! What about the present day? Can I just live for today; I do not know what the future will bring and a lot can happen in a couple of years heck a lot can happen in two days. But most of all I am being hit with the reality that for the next 30 years or so I will be working a 9-5, paying bills, get married at some point, have kids, etc. Do not get me wrong I am excited about my potential future career but the fact that it will, God willing, become reality soon is a scary thought.
       
         So I refer back to my first question, "Is there more to life than this?" I do believe that Jesus is the reason for life and the reason I live. But, "How do you go from merely existing to living the life Jesus called for you?" I do not have an answer to this question; prayerfully God will provide me with the answer.
   
         I will say that God has grown me spiritually in the past couple of years or so which is probably why I am asking all these questions. After experiencing the death of a good friend, watching the news about all the violence and hate that goes on every single day, after hearing life stories from strangers, friends and family I have learned that every person inhabiting this planet is more than just a face. Everyone has a story, listen to it. I can not even begin to start on how the many life stories I have heard that have  honestly opened my eyes to see people for who they truly are, their talents, and gifts. I have met some of the strongest people, the things that they have experienced in their life is more than I can digest at times. Their are also the people that I have met that I wish they could see their value because He does not make mistakes.
     
        As I watch the news and hear stories of unthinkable things happening to people in my own state, country, and around the world, it makes me wish that I could do more than watch. I have asked this question when thinking about  "What is our ultimate goal in life?" The truth is that nothing in the world is going to bring happiness or satisfaction. I have not had to try or experience everything in the world to know that this is true; I can watch and see that many of the things the world offers has not brought others happiness but has led to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. 

       As God  has taught me to see the value in others (which I am still learning because  it is difficult to love some people as God commands) He has also taught me to see the value in myself! I am discovering the qualities of myself that I find special and seeing both my inward and outward beauty. I am still learning at times but God is showing me how valued I am in His eyes. Which is good because it is teaching me that God wants the best for me in my life. Yes, this refers somewhat to men and knowing that God will not have me settle for anyone who does not love Him above all but as well values me in the way that I value myself. If a man can not see me the way I see myself, he gets the boot. But this is also true in friendship; I want people who value the person that I am and I value them in return.

   
     I guess the question is "How does the living happen?" I just want God to show me that I am not wasting time but truly living. I pray that one of my biggest dreams and desires I have comes to florishment sooner rather than later. As well as finding more than happiness but joy which is not a temporary feeling like happiness. The truth is the future and reality has me shaking in my boots at times but I am going to trust that God will take me where I am and the person I am becoming and prepare the way before me.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

"Oceans(Where Feet me Fail)"- Hillsong United

-Gabrielle

It's all About Me....Right?

       As I get older one thing that I'm beginning to notice is the pattern of life: the cycle it creates. It might go a little something like this:


 Your born, you attend Elementary school, you join a few teams/clubs, you go to middle school, go to high school, maybe get a few awards here and there, then you generally will find a college to attend, you then go to college, graduate with a major you hopefully enjoy, find a job, get married, and then have kids. Then you watch your kids repeat
that same cycle.

     Lately I feel as though I want something more. I don't mean to diminish the significance of any of the above life events, they are all milestones and are important. But, instead of focusing on only myself I've begun to ask the questions:

 How can my life positively effect the lives of those around me? How can I make a difference in the world I live?


      As a human being  (which you are since your reading this) it's nearly impossible to not notice what is going on in the world in which we live. All it takes is watching one minute of the local news station to know that we live in a world full of brokenness. Maybe it's just me, but the more and more I hear about people suffering the more I want to do something about it.

      To be honest; their have been many times that I have felt as though I'm wasting time (no, I am not only talking about all the time that I waste aimlessly on Facebook). I want to be out changing the world. I want to show love to those who never receive it and I want to listen to them as they share their stories. I want to live a life more like Jesus.

Can I be more like Jesus?

      I don't know about you but sometimes I get tired of all the meaningless things we allow ourselves to be consumed with. One of the many things that I admire about Jesus's time on earth is the self-less life He lived and the self-less life He desired for His disciples (the 12 men that followed Jesus and told others about Him). Jesus went from town to town showing love to all of the people; it wasn't about Him.He offered the greatest sacrifice by dying on the cross for our sins; that is the ultimate self-less love.

My prayer
         I desire greatly to travel the world and share the love of God with others but in the meantime I want to know what it means to live a self-less life.

   "He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked." 1 John 2:6


Ask yourself the following questions:  How can my life positively effect the lives of those around me? How can I make a difference in the world I live?  


 Gabrielle 

The Beauty of it All.

       
      Have you ever had one of those days where you just wake up with a smile? Well, today was one of those days for me. It might have been the fact that I had no classes to attend or a true feeling of thankfulness.

How many times do we spend our whole day complaining? 

      Admittedly, I'm guilty of this very thing. Just the other day I was complaining about the food choices that are available at school, wanting more clothes, and of course the usual, "I really don't want to wake up for class this morning." You might recognize a few of these complaints or may have a few of your own. But doesn't it always seem like we always have more negatives compared to positives.

In all honesty what do I have to complain about?

        Instead of looking at the negatives I've decided to change them to positive thoughts. For example instead of complaining about the food choices that are available to me why don't I thank God that I have food to eat everyday. I probably even eat more than I need at times! Shhhhh. Or instead of complaining about not having enough clothes to wear why don't I thank God that I have clothes to wear that are appropriate for each season. And I even have the means to purchase more clothing. Instead of not wanting to wake up in the morning I can thank God for waking me up because He has a purpose for me each and every day that I wake.

      I can't help but think that this thankfulness might also have something to do with the Fall season that is upon us. The benefit of living in the Midwest for my whole life is the chance I get to experience every season. The leaves are beautiful this time of the year. As I walked around my campus today I watched as the leaves swirled around me, the way the colors on the trees went from green to yellow to a gorgeous bright orange. I wanted to draw a picture of what I saw but as anyone who knows me knows that I could never give any picture justice (my artistic abilities go as far as a simple doodling).

Now it's your turn.

       Before complaining about everything around you, change that complaint to a positive (I know it's hard sometimes but YOU can do it!) Don't forget to also see the BEAUTIFUL creation that God has placed in front of us that we quickly disregard in order to view a simple text on our phone. But most of all we should be thankful that we have a loving God that sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins. If you aren't thankful for anything else that should be a constant. Thank you Jesus.

"And each morning and evening they stood before the LORD to sing songs of thanks and praise to Him." 1 Chronicles 23:30.

I would love to know how you changed your negative thinking to positive thankfulness.


Gabrielle